Comments on: Don’t miss out: Ask your most pressing parenting question today!

By: Avigael

Avigael — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 21:33:30 +0000

we have an 18 month old boy who is overall a very good kid but he is starting to test limits! he literally doesnt take no for an answer! we tried different ways of saying no but nothing seems to work.
what do we do?

By: Cannedam

Cannedam — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 17:51:06 +0000

What do you do when your teen daughter is diametrically opposed to one of your core beliefs? I want to respect her opinions and let her come to her own conclusions, but any time we try to have an open discussion about this one issue, she ends up yelling at me. The issue is abortion. I am pro choice, she is anti-choice.

By: Rebecca Ray

Rebecca Ray — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 16:58:27 +0000

Lysa, I just met you last week here in Austin at the leader meeting. As you know, we are expecting a baby in February. However, on Friday we had a 20 week ultrasound and discovered our baby girl suffers from a devestating neural tube defect call anencephaly, in which her brain failed to form. We induce labor wednesday, will hold her upon birth and keep her warm until she passes away. Can you guys suggest any AP themed books on continuing to parent through grief, since we have a delightful almost 3 year old son who will still need our full love and attention. Thank you for taking the time to answer our questions!

By: Mama

Mama — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 16:34:44 +0000

We have a 5 year old who would be considered a “highly sensitive child” by Elaine Aron’s definition. We didn’t realize that there was a “label” for his nature until recently when we read her book about HSCs and it fit his personality to a tee. My partner and I have APd him from day one but our location has been fairly transitory since our child was born. He’s never been willing or able to stay with a babysitter and didn’t even want to stay in another room with a mother’s helper while I was at home. Our family lives very far away so they can’t help give us a reprieve either.

As a couple we try to get out of bed (he sleeps with us still) to spend some time together or simply to decompress but he still wakes up every 60-90 mins that we aren’t there and cries and wants us to come back to bed. We are burnt out and feel less and less like we are good attached parents…our tanks are just running on empty. He homeschools and he refuses to participate in any other activities (play groups or structured group activities) and we don’t know what to do to get a break together.

It doesn’t seem very AP to shove him in to one of those situations (lots of tears and apprehension) as our parents have suggested but we don’t feel we are very patient or empathetic right now either. Please share some ideas with how we can continue to AP our very sensitive child!!

By: Kelly

Kelly — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 16:32:09 +0000

I struggle with helping our child care provider (my mom to understand the philosophy of AP. She sees all interactions between me and my children, particularly my 3yo daughter, as a “power struggle” and if I don’t “win”, meaning if she doesn’t do what I want her to do immediately, then I’ve “lost” and given her too much “control”. I am at a loss as to how to help her see that I am seeking to find win-win solutions so that we can all get our needs met. Suggestions for how to deal with this would be most appreciated!

By: Annie

Annie — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 15:09:21 +0000

No questions at the moment, but looking forward to the discussion!

By: Martha

Martha — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 12:56:15 +0000

I am totally into AP as much as can be and my husband has been on and off into it. He grew up with angry father and he battles disciplining in anger himself. We have tried to co-sleeping. Now my 3 year old has his own bed and we have gently tried to get him in it of his own free will. He will as long as one of us sleeps with him. The other issue is that when my husband is stressed he gets frustrated and my 3 year old picks up on all this even when my husband isn’t directly yelling at him; and I try to make up the difference by taking my son away and play in other room, but feel that this only is making the situation worse. Now I see aggressive behaviors coming out in my son at preschool and he always seems to want to “one-up” the other kids. I know he needs both of us and I don’t know what to do. I am looking for counselors who are AP friendly as well.

By: Melissa

Melissa — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 08:07:40 +0000

I’m in agreement with Melissa #1! We need help trying to find AP friendly resources to aid us on our journey dealing with my son’s sensory processing disorder (which is part of the autism spectrum) and the impact it has on our family.

We definitely need to help practitioners become culturally competent in understanding the culture and norms of Attachment Parenting.

What can we do as a group to facilitate this so we don’t get labeled as “weird” because of our parenting and can help that works for our family?

By: Lesley S Ulloa

Lesley S Ulloa — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 01:45:44 +0000

No immediate questions but want to sign in please. Thanks!

By: Katrina

Katrina — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 23:03:51 +0000

My husband and I began parenting our 4-month-old son in AP style without knowing much about it. We just use our intuition and listen to our son, and it’s working quite well. Because we’re new parents, we’re given lots of advice that we try to politely refuse (e.g.–he needs a schedule; he needs to sleep in his own crib; we’re going to spoil him if we answer his every cry), but some family members still don’t understand and keep mentioning the same things over and over again. I’m good at setting boundaries, but I’m new to setting these kinds of boundaries, and it’s especially difficult when these family members think it’s odd that I see my baby as a person with feelings rather than an object. (What the heck do I say to that?!) So my question is: What are some tried-and-true methods of getting family members to respect our AP parenting style?